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One Month and Counting
Our lawyers came down from Bangkok recently to check on the process for Sanam's guardianship. The good news is that we now know the date when there will be a hearing. The bad news is that it is not until October 7. On that date, if all goes well and there are no complications, a judge will award Sanam guardianship. Complications seem objectively unlikely, but that doesn't stop the prospect from keeping us awake at night. The judge might also wait a couple of weeks before deciding, but our hope is that the case will be straightforward enough that she or he will see no reason to do so.
Then, if all goes well, we can get Neung a passport, and she can come to Singapore.
This intermediate period is hard for everyone -- Neung, us, Panya and Sanam -- especially because we have decided, on the advice of our lawyers, to visit Neung only on the weekeds for the next month. The idea is simply that if the judge asks Neung questions, we don't want her to say she is living in hotels. (To be clear, this is not because we have to hide our involvement with her, but simply to keep life simpler.)
We keep reminding ourselves that what we are doing is easy, really. We have friends who have adopted children, and they often faced a period of many many months of waiting for paperwork, during which time they did not get to see their future child at all. Because we are not adopting, but becoming guardians, and because this is being done by agreement with her current guardians, as opposed to through an orphanage, the process is much much simpler. Most importantly, we are able to spend a lot of time with Neung, which is easier for us, and means that her transition to Singapore will be much easier. That doesn't stop this from seeming like a very long wait, though.
7/9/2005
To Fade into a Bad Dream
The day after Katrina hit New Orleans, a couple of commentators said that it was like the tsunami. That irritated me at the time, for I suspected it was severe exaggeration. Like so many people, though, I have been watching and reading the news from Mississippi and Louisiana with incredulity and sorrow, and it is clear now that the hurricane was indeed like the tsunami in the devastation that it worked.
(And at the very moment that I wrote that, in a meaningless coincidence that nonetheless rocked me back in my seat, my i-tunes random shuffle started playing Arlo Guthrie's version of City of New Orleans.)
Now that a week has passed since the hurricane, I think I can also safely assert that the Thai government's performance in responding to the tsunami was orders of magnitude better than FEMA's response to the hurricane. Yes, there are differences in the nature of the catastrophe, but still. By the time we first came to Phuket and Khao Lak, a week after the tsunami, the roads had been cleared, the bodies collected. Meanwhile, the military had already built camps with basic shelter and sanitation, and provided food and water to those who had lost their homes.
But back to New Orleans. I can't claim to know NO well. I have been there three times, I think, and I have experienced the city as a tourist, nothing more. I have no gentle yet enlightening anecdote to contribute. I remember it for the fact that it was where I interviewed for my first real job, and I remember it above all for great food -- my first true experience of oysters, beignets at Cafe du Monde in the days before it was a global chain, a wonderful meal at an up-and-coming restaurant run by a (at that time) little known chef named Emeril Lagasse, and much more besides.
It is a city that insinuates itself into memory, though. It was not like anywhere else in the U.S. I do not pretend to know if, when, or how it should or will be rebuilt. Whenever and however it happens, though, I look forward to seeing the new New Orleans. In the meantime, I hope that the US can recover from its pitiful first response, and do a better job of rebuilding the lives of the displaced and bereaved. One thing I do know from our time in Thailand is that this rebuilding is a long and difficult process, but with enough goodwill and enough effort and enough resources, it can happen. Yesterday we visited Sanam and Panya in their new home. It took more than seven months -- seven months in which they had to live in a shelter that flooded in the rains -- but they have a new house, now.
Do you want something else to lighten the mood? How about this? Jill told me this morning that Neung woke at 2am, opened her eyes, stared at the ceiling, and said "Mama. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven", and then promptly fell asleep again.
8/9/2005
I'm Outta Here
In recent weeks, Neung has been making more and more references to the tsunami. We are not sure why this is so. It may simply be that she is able to communicate better with us; it may be that she has been seeing or hearing reminders; or it may be that, now that she is a few months older, she is developing a better conception of what happened.
Last week Jill and Neung were walking near the beach. Neung explained to Jill that, if another tsunami comes, she knows that she should run. "It's ok," said Jill, "Mama would pick you up and run away from the beach with you."
"No," said Neung, "Neung is fast, and Mama is SOOOOO suhlow."
22/9/2005
Delay in Court Hearing
No, this isn't a post about the ethically-challenged ex-leader of the U.S. House of Representatives.
It now looks as if it is going to be another two or three months before we can bring Neung back to Singapore. As part of Sanam's guardianship procedure, Neung's father has to be notified by the court. As I have said before, there is no indication whatsoever that he has any interest in Neung; quite the opposite. But he does have to be notified, and we want to be sure that all procedures are properly followed.
It turns out that the court had some difficulty in tracking him down, and so the court has not yet been able to serve him with official notification of Sanam's desire to be guardian. Through our lawyers, however, we have succeeded in finding him. (Many things have happened this year that I never ever expected to happen in my life. One of the smaller ones was the time I found myself saying "Yes, let's hire the private investigator".)
Our/Sanam's lawyers will still go to court on Friday to try to keep the process moving rapidly. Presumably, the court will set another date for the hearing at that point. Watch this space.
30/9/2005